What screams I don't like you

Don't yell at children anymore: This is how it works

Work with pictures

A good trick to get the little ones used to our schedule is to make a clock with an arrow on it. Instead of numbers, you paint pictures on it that represent the different daily routines: getting up, brushing your teeth, getting dressed, having breakfast, putting on shoes, going to daycare. After daycare: come home, wash your hands, have dinner, put on pajamas, brush your teeth, read aloud, go to sleep. In this way parents can turn the arrow to the correct position with the child. With the help of the pictures, the little ones can see where they are and what's coming next. Over time, they learn to orientate themselves.

Give clear instructions

We get particularly angry when we have the feeling that the little ones are doing something on purpose. Keyword: apple spritzer. "Children are little researchers who want to try everything - including whether they can mop the floor with apple spritzer," explains Frankenberger. "So stay calm, take the bottle away and say: If you want to do research, it is better to have water on the balcony." Clear, positively worded instructions are important. When we say, "Please don't throw the spaghetti on the floor!", A child thinks: "That would be a good idea!" "We know from brain research that small children do not yet understand the negative of a statement," says the expert. "In addition, parents use adult language far too often: 'Eat properly' is not understood by any child. More specifically: 'Eat the pasta so that it ends up in your mouth or stays on your plate.'"

Endure frustration from time to time

Let's say it all works. How does it look like in an acute dangerous situation? For example, when you pick up two children, one is buckling up and the other is walking towards the street? Then parents really want to be heard with their instructions. "It is a misconception that instructions get stronger when we scream. We only get louder," says the family therapist. "Better: Take both children by the hand as far as the car and while one is buckled up, give the other child a clear message: 'Hold on to the door handle' or: 'Please help me by getting into the car by yourself . '"

If the spoken word is not heard: make contact - take the child by the arm, then it realizes: you are serious. And if it screams, endure its frustration. It is important that we ourselves remain calm and not yell back. If everyone is screaming, this is the perfect spiral of escalation! Parents correct and discipline far too much, children don't like that. And it doesn't lead to success either.