How would you love lesbian girls

1. Most important: learn to listen to your heart

Are you considering whether you are a lesbian or do you need support with your coming out? My book Rainbowlove is your best friend and supports you on your way!
Please also check out my LGBT fashion label Rainbowfashion.
For even more inspiration on how to live your life according to your own rules, check out here!


Am i a lesbian Or bi?

How can I tell the difference between deep friendship and being in love?

And how can I be sure whether I'm into women or not?

Are these just the limits in my head, or am I just imagining it?

I pored over these and similar questions in my head for months.

If you're reading this, you probably feel the same way. And that's why I want to help you in this article to find answers to your questions.



Maybe you've heard it before. But, your heart knows the answer to all of your questions. Always. When you will feel the answers depends on when you are really ready to listen to your heart.

So it is important that you give yourself the time and space to ask yourself the question "Am I a lesbian?" This is the only way to get answers.


The following exercise can help you hear the voice of your heart:

Take an evening out.

An evening just for you and your own truthfulness. Make yourself comfortable. For example, you can light candles, your favorite music, incense sticks, cook yourself a cup of hot cocoa or prepare your favorite tea.

Then sit down, close your eyes. Breathe in and out deeply. Get very calm. Focus on your heart. And ask yourself the following questions:

✨ What do you feel when you think about love?

✨ Why are you doing this exercise right now?

✨ Are you in love with someone right now? And maybe you can't quite admit it to yourself yet?

✨ Which people do you find attractive? Who are you attracted to right now?

✨ When you imagine kissing a man, how do you feel?

✨ When you imagine kissing a woman, what does it do to you?

✨ What image triggers a tingling sensation in your stomach?

✨ Who do you tend to look after on the street?

✨ If everything, really everything were possible and you could conjure up which experiences, which people, which experiences would you conjure up into your life?


Write everything that is important to you in your coming out diary. Even if they are totally confusing thoughts that you cannot properly put into words. In your journal there are no rules for “good” or “bad” writing. Grammar and spelling don't matter. The only rule: everything you write should come straight from your heart.


Let your mind wander.


Try to listen to what your heart is telling you. If you can, turn off the "logical" voice in your head and let the voice of your heart speak. Feel deep inside yourself and take as much time as you need. Also try to pick up answers that you might not like. Perhaps the exercise will increase your feeling that you are a lesbian, bi, or queer. Maybe that's okay with you, maybe you feel fear, despair or helplessness rising in you.

If that should be the case:

Let your emotions run wild, allow yourself to cry or be sad when that is the case.

And believe me when I tell you, you are not alone and together we can do it. I am there for you. As your best friend, your very personal supporter. In the form of this blog and in the form of my coming out guide Rainbowlove, which I wrote especially for you.


Try not to put too much pressure on yourself while doing the exercise, even if it is difficult.


You don't have to be able to answer all the questions right away. And the answers you find don't have to last forever. When it comes to many questions, you may be overwhelmed or simply do not know how you feel about them personally. That's perfectly fine. This is not a math test that you have to fill out 100% within a given time and that you can never change again.

You may find some questions easy for you and others take a few days or weeks to float around in your head before you can find the answers. Maybe you can accept your answers right away, but maybe you can't. Both are totally okay, there is no right or wrong here!


2. Give yourself time!


A very important step now is that you give yourself as much time as you need.

I know how hard that can be. Believe me.

Doing the exercise and dealing more with the question “Am I a lesbian?” Is probably just the beginning of a longer journey. And that's totally okay. Perhaps you are now thinking that you should actually know exactly what is wrong with you after the exercise and you may be disappointed if it does not work immediately or if you do not find answers immediately.

But by the time you've done the exercise, you've come a long way. Even if it doesn't feel like that to you right now.

With such a big question, the question of what sexuality you have, results and clear answers are rarely seen or received immediately. Most of the time, they don't come overnight, but move bit by bit into your life.


Don't let this discourage you.


Just let the confusing questions and feelings swirl around in your head until they sort themselves out on their own.

Patience is one of the most difficult virtues. I still remember exactly how much I wanted to find an answer right now. And how frustrating it is when the answer is a long time coming.

Figuring out what you really want is never an easy process in life. Especially when the possible answer could be so different from what others would expect of you. But don't put more pressure on yourself than you already have. At some point you will automatically know what is right for you.

At some point it will just click. And from then on, it's easy to know what you want.

Nobody can say for sure whether your click will come today or in a few weeks or months - just let it come your way and trust that it will happen at some point!


3. Rainbowlove - your coming out guide


By the way, this blog post is an excerpt from my book Rainbowlove - Your Coming Out Advice.

After three years of blogging and countless Coming Out coachings, I have packed all my knowledge and experience into a book. With Rainbowlove I accompany you like a best friend through this difficult time. Step by step we answer your question “Am I a lesbian?” Together and find out together what is the right thing for you in love, how you can tell others about it, and above all, how you can live a life full of happiness, love and self-confidence can lead.

Here you come directly to Rainbowlove.



Do you have any questions about coming out? Or on the subject of “Am I a lesbian”?

Then write to me in the comments! I try to help you wherever I can.


All love to you,

Learn how to live a life of confidence and love. To Rainbowlove - your coming out guide.