Do you have some drunk experience

How to deal with it when you regret everything the next day

My dearest colleague Isa wrote this article. In it, she describes strategies on how to avoid embarrassment while intoxicated. When she announced that I would write this article, I was genuinely interested. I'm more of an expert on "dealing with embarrassment" than avoiding it. The reason for this is my lack of self-discipline in the intoxication and years of experience with it. If you are one of those people who can't stop after the second splash, unpack their cell phone and make confessions of love or just shut up: Welcome to hell.

We are the fringes of society that are always looked at in strange ways. But hey, we are the funniest in the group and people like to have us around. Among other things, because when we are there, the embarrassment of the others suddenly doesn't seem so bad at all. Nevertheless, I have perfected my repression strategies.

So you let yourself be fooled by your euphoria

Isa's tip is to do a short self-analysis and think about it. Yes, that doesn't sound that difficult at all. Nevertheless, it is hardly possible for a manic person like me to think ahead, especially not drunk. So you let your intoxicated body chemistry win and let's say you broke your cell phone or air-fucked a cop's leg. Or you just talked a lot of shit in a very banal way - my most common case. We all know that moment when you become aware of it when you get up. It gets worse when there are only catastrophic scraps of memory where you just don't know what happened before and after.

Now it becomes important to differentiate between "funny-embarrassing" and "really-embarrassing". If you're talking shit with your friends, air-fucking a cop's leg, or annoying strangers, it's just no longer embarrassing. Let go; It's okay. In the group chat, write, "Shit, my head. What was yesterday?" And let yourself be laughed at. Really embarrassing things are, oh, I don't have to explain that. You suppress them or process them now. Call your best friend and talk about it. Basically, apologizing never hurts. You can say that this never happens to you otherwise. White lies would be OK in that case. If your cell phone is broken because yesterday you felt critical of the system: Your own fault, no pity. This is a financial embarrassment that only affects you and is therefore OK.

So you didn't leave your ATM card at home

And probably spent an awful lot of money. Well Just like with the cell phone: Don't feel sorry for yourself. It's just money. It comes in again. If you can't eat now until the end of the month, it will be a lesson to you. Go plasma donations, borrow money, hand out flyers, don't leave until the end of the month. It's all part of your punishment because of your irrational money mania. I have also stopped withdrawing more than 200 euros in one night. Or at least to check the next day whether I actually withdrew 200 euros.

So you weren't in control of your emotions

And yelped at everyone and talked to you. Oh, not so bad. You weren't nominated for the "Mature-Person-of-the-Round" award anyway. Maybe some people like you less now because you really pissed them off. But hey, that was your person in the quintessence of their being. You did a soul striptease. Be a little like Britney and think you're great for it. Such nights are just part of it. They're not cool and not necessary, but they are part of it. Here, too, it helps to apologize to those involved.

So you charged your cell phone and it still worked when you were REALLY drunk

And subsequently spanked people on the Internet or via SMS and confessed your (physical) love to them in one way or another. Fuck yeah, that's embarrassing. My personal strategy is not to read through this news. If the next day a request comes from the other side, you need a sentence like "Fuck. I was destroyed yesterday, I see we wrote. Or I do. I don't want to read it and distance myself from it. Sorry." Or, if you are really uncomfortable and the news is sentimental, write it was your best friend. He was ur drunk. Of course you didn't know anything about it. Or take it as an occasion and write a meaningful "In Vino Veritas ..." No, don't write that. Better ask for a meeting.

So you took your most valuable things with you

And broken them or lost them. Life sucks. Learn from it. As long as you are the only one who bears the damage, everything is cool. It only gets embarrassing when your friends declare it embarrassing. They won't do that just because you don't have your wallet. Get all of your documents, rush through the offices and have the stress you deserve.

So you shaved and had a one night stand

I've never actually had a one night stand, but I don't imagine sex as bad now. Yes my You had sex. Shame on you. It becomes embarrassing when people are involved who have nothing to do with the game. But hundreds of people had this situation before you and will also have hundreds of people after you. Have a coffee, agree on "fuck it" and give yourself a few days of freedom. Or a few hundred days of free time. Remember that sex always takes two and therefore you are never solely to blame for coitus. Plus, you were drunk and it felt right and good.

If you are not sure whether or how you used contraception: Please just really never drink again. And go to the doctor. If you're a guy, it's good form to pay for the morning-after pill. Address this charmingly and not like a solid post. "You get that one pill that eliminates the potential litter on the way home anyway, right?" Is not charming. "I'll get us breakfast and I think I'll look at the pharmacy for the morning-after pill, will you wait here for me for a moment?" Is more charming.

The golden six rules:

1) Try to drink in different places. Not always in the same place.
2) Avoid places where there are people who work with you or are related.
3) From now on, apologizing is your favorite residual fat activity.
4) If you've been drinking alcohol, apologize too.
5) Having a second old cell phone or wallet at home never hurts.
6) Don't think too much about it. Put it out of the way. Or process it. Whatever helps you not to think about last night - claim it.


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