What is emotional abandonment

Understanding and coping with the fear of abandonment

I found the following article about abandonment on DiePsyche.com. He describes some connections quite well and in detail. What is missing is an important clue that makes it easier to heal chronic abandonment. I give my comment below ...

“People whose lives are dominated by abandonment believe that they will lose all of the people they love. They feel that it is their destiny to be left alone and to be left alone. This goes so far that these people are convinced, even in well-functioning relationships, that this connection will also fail. Even short and temporary physical separations from the partner are experienced as problematic and accompanied by the conviction that the partner may not be able to return. These people cling very closely to those who are important to them and thereby often make themselves emotionally dependent on their partners. Ultimately, this attitude leads to a feeling of despair. In most cases, the fear of abandonment develops in early childhood, often in the period before language acquisition. This is also the reason why people who suffer from this fear cannot find an explanation for it. In situations where they are confronted with their fears, they react completely childlike, believing that they are completely alone and that no one is there for them; people who are constantly accompanied by fear of abandonment were often neglected as a child or treated badly. In psychology today it is assumed that people differ in the way they deal with breakups. The current state of research suggests that there is a biological predisposition for the development of such fear of loss. However, if such a child experiences a stable relationship with the mother and other caregivers, the likelihood of developing such strong fear of loss and feelings of abandonment in adulthood decreases. Such strong feelings of abandonment usually only occur in intense and intimate relationships. People with such fears also have these problems in friendships. Of course, then the fears usually appear in a less strong form than in intensive relationships. But the pattern is very similar in friendships and relationships. People who have a strong feeling of abandonment usually have emotionally troubled and unstable relationships or avoid them altogether. Even the smallest change in the partner is dramatized and stirs up the thought of being abandoned. Especially at the beginning of the relationship there is often parentheses and over time jealousy and possessiveness also play a major role. Either way, the danger of being abandoned by the partner is at the center of the emotional happenings. It is noticeable that people with such behavioral patterns look for partners with whom the hope of a stable relationship is justified, but does not necessarily have to come true. Doubts are still appropriate and it often appears as if the intended person is attracted to unstable love relationships. The state of instability has been known and familiar to them since childhood. Paradoxically, through such relationships, those affected enable themselves to relive that childhood feeling over and over again. This recurring pattern has a strong attraction for those affected and is experienced as very passionate. But this passion is mistaken for the fulfilling feeling of love. People who are often confronted with the feeling of abandonment must learn to understand that the cause of this feeling lies far back. As already mentioned, it probably originated in childhood. It can help to try to bring these past images to mind. If you compare the past with current events marked by the feeling of abandonment, you will be able to establish a connection. By becoming aware of a recurring pattern, one is ultimately able to better recognize and change such life situations. … “Link to the original article

Here I would like to add something crucial: When we have deep wounds of abandonment within us, it is difficult to avoid repetition simply by seeing a recurring pattern. This wound needs to be healed on the emotional level. With the new knowledge about the so-called "negative feelings", this is not as difficult as one generally imagines. More on the emotional healing of these and other emotional wounds hereMore from the worldwide web about abandonment:Safe in the gentle power | Our new earthneueerde.wordpress.com5 / 22/11 sometimes when it gets dark, you deepest pain of loss and the Abandonment feel. Your degree of despair can hardly be measured. You are so full of pain that you might prefer not to be in life anymore Loneliness - daydream A video about a story, nothing special. Daydream It's Tuesday at 5:18 pm, and probably one of the boringest of its kind again. I sit on my bed and try to finally do something, but somehow shit ...