Is life a painful memory

How to let go of negative memories

Last update: 11th May, 2017

Throughout our lives we experience painful situations and circumstances that burn deep into our memories. It seems like we can never forget them and they determine our behavior and the way we live our lives. These painful situations can have different roots - the loss of a loved one, a broken heart, or a career setback.

But if we pause once, it becomes clear to us that we are still to experience many beautiful and pleasant things and situations every day. The kiss of your own child, the call from someone we haven't spoken to in a long time, enjoying your own favorite candy or a few pages from our favorite book.

“It is not in your power to change a situation that is causing you pain. However, it is up to you to choose the attitude with which you want to face this suffering. "

Viktor Frankl

Life moves surprisingly quickly and in all this hectic pace we run the risk of missing the precious, daily moments. It is good to keep such moments as treasure and try to remember the feelings that we carried within us. It's good to go through these things again when negative memories catch us cold again.

How can we make negative and sad memories forget?

Some scientists from the Universities of Birmingham and Cambridge (United Kingdom) recently published a study in the Nature Neuroscience Magazine. In this study they explain how they managed to recognize brain functions that help us remember things and forget other things.

For this purpose, the brain activity of a group of volunteer test persons was measured with the help of an MRI. The test subjects were asked to remember some pictures that were presented to them beforehand. Thanks to this technology, it was now possible to restore those images that had to be remembered on a neural level.

Dr. Michael Anderson, one of the study's co-authors, said: "Usually people think that the act of forgetting is a passive thing. However, our research has shown that we humans are instrumental in forgetting or remembering things. It's an interesting finding that the act of remembering can lead to forgetting something else. This enables us to learn even more about selective memory and also about mechanisms of self-deception. "

So we are the ones in control of what we forget or what we remember. For this reason we suggest you Follow these 3 simple steps to take control of your negative memories.

  1. Accept.

We need to be aware that we can no longer change our past. But what we can very well change are the present and the future. So live in the here and now by accepting your past and leaving it behind when it hurt you. Create a guilt-free future for yourself, then you can enjoy every single and unique moment.

  1. Learn.

No matter how negative our memories may be they always have lessons for us too. Think about these lessons from your past. You may even need to write them down so you can remember them. This will help us form useful lessons for our future from these negative and sad memories.

"Sometimes you win ... and sometimes you lose."

Robert Kiyosaki

  1. Forgive

Forgive those around you and - above all - forgive yourself. New things are ready for all of us to be experienced. So forgive and move on. We all make mistakes, but it doesn't make sense that we scourge ourselves for it.

Here are 3 simple techniques that will help you forget those negative memories that attack you from time to time.

One of the easiest and most effective tools is writing. Writing is fundamentally therapeutic. You can open a window in your mind for all the negative things in you through which they can escape by writing them to you from your soul. You should be very intuitive and just write down everything that comes to mind. Don't think about it any further, just let the words fill the paper. In the end, you will then experience that you suddenly feel better.

The Argentine psychologist Walter Riso recommends in his book Instructions on how not to die of love the so-called Stop technique. This is a technique designed to help you forget your ex. Basically, it consists of going out loud every time a thought about the ex comes to mind "STOP!" says. In this way it is possible to stop these thoughts. They dissipate and give us time to breathe. Perhaps this technique is not infallible, but just as Riso says it can help.

Another rather useful technique that helps us relax and gain control over our thoughts, memories, and emotions is mindfulness. The term mindfulness refers to a meditation technique that essentially consists of turning to the moment that one is currently living with full attention - without judging and with a lot of acceptance and curiosity.

On the other hand is Meditation is also a mental exercise that brings us into a state of permanent focus. This can relate to a thought, an object or even ourselves and can be achieved, for example, by breathing technique. However, there are many different meditation techniques. For some it is mainly about concentration, for others, such as mindfulness, it is about sharpening awareness.

The practice of mindfulness shows us that a state of full alertness and consciousness can help us reduce stress. It can increase our creativity and make us appreciate situations from an objective point of view. This in turn helps us to increasingly enjoy what we are doing and to strengthen ourselves against our own emotions.

So now you can let go of your negative memories. Go on on your life path and savor it to the full!