Why should a person emotionally abuse

Psychological violence is often underestimated, but those affected suffer severely. We asked relationship professionals about the most common signs of "emotional abuse".

The Wounds that are emotional abuse leaves are mostly invisible, but not because of that less painful. Emotional abuse is less obvious than physical abuse. To recognize him early, is crucial for those affected and their relatives.

Knowledge is the first step towards improvement

“Months or years of emotional abuse can lead to distrust of one's own perception or even one's own mind, ”said psychotherapist and author of“ The Emotional Abusive Relationship, ”Beverly Engel, the US-HuffPost. “Most of the time there aren't any Witness to Emotional Abusebecause it takes place in private. "

It encompasses a range of behaviors to get into a Relationship power and control exercise.

This includes Criticizing, insulting, apportioning blame, devaluations, withdrawal of love, threats, manipulation, humiliation or isolation.

Such partners also try to find your Control finances or determining where to go, what to wear, and who to hang out with.

As difficult as it is to admit to yourself that your partner is harming you, it is the first Step to recovery.

Excuses and downplaying are often easier

"It's often difficult or terrifying to deal with the fact that your partner is harming you," said social worker and trauma expert Lisa Ferentz of the US HuffPost.

“If you have a lot Time and passion invested in a relationship then everything revolves around the partner. Then it often seems easier or safer to find excuses or downplay the behavior of the partner. "

Affected people should have a Therapist speaking, yourself one Join the self-help group or confide in good friends and family members who will help them achieve the To end relationship safely.

So that you can see early on whether you are in a Relationship with Emotional Abuse we asked relationship experts to tell us typical behavior of dangerous partners to describe.

1. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and try to blame you for everything that goes wrong.

“Partner that one emotionally abuse, can only extremely rarely take responsibility for their behavior. Your tactic is, your responsibility or Put guilt on their partner. You try to fooled into twisting facts or just lying to blame the partner for something. No matter what, such partners try to avoid responsibility at all costs. " - Carol A. Lambert, psychotherapist and author of “Women with Controlling Partners”

2. At first they act attentively and lovingly to wrap you up. But that doesn't last long.

“Abusive partners know how to reach out to their victim through charm and gifts. Then they influence their victim in such a way that they believe that it is a sign of ‘true love’ if they spy on them, write too much to them, want to spend more and more time with them alone and talk them out of their independence. What you might initially see as 'jealousy' very quickly turns into a harmful attempt to exercise control, create self-doubt and gradually reduce self-esteem and self-confidence. " - Ferentz

3. They undermine your strengths and downplay your successes.

“For example, let's say you won a writing contest, but instead of your partner congratulating you, they say,‘ Oh, what a huge success. Only ten others participated. ’Partners who abuse you emotionally, evaluate your feelings often by saying: Why are you making such a big deal out of it? ’or‘Oh poor baby Did that hurt your feelings?"They accuse you of being too" emotional "," too sensitive "or" too crazy ". They do not recognize your ideas and opinions, but make fun of them or devalue them by saying things like: ‘You don't even know what you're talking about ’. They claim that your perception is wrong by saying, for example: ‘You rate that totally over’ or ‘you are exaggerating’. " - Angel

4. They freak out if you contradict them.

“Abusive people do not tolerate contradiction from their partners. They take dissenting opinions as personal attack true. They believe that they are the victim and react with anger and intimidation. People who abuse you emotionally believe that your partner is really the culprit. " - Lambert

5. They try to find excuses for their behavior.

“They try to downplay and apologize for their abusive behavior by saying that they are stressed, tired, overwhelmed or too drunk were. In this way, they allow their brains to repeat the same behavior the next time. The next time is whenever the abusive partner needs adrenaline to get a brief burst of energy and self-confidence. " - Steven Stosny, psychologist and author of “Empowered Love”.

6. They isolate you from your friends and family so that you are completely dependent on them.

“A partner who abuses you emotionally tries to systematically and deliberately separate you from your support network: from friends, family, work colleagues or your parish. The purpose of this is to make you only dependent on the abusive partner and to reduce the likelihood that others will notice something of the abuse. The more isolated a victim is, the more difficult it is for them to get help in ending the relationship. " - Ferentz

7. They have unrealistic expectations of yourself and the relationship.

"They have excessive demands on the partner and demand that he spend all of his time with them, putting everything aside to meet their needs. They are dissatisfied, no matter what you try and how much you give them, but criticize you for not completing a task according to their standards. They often expect their partners to have the same opinion and get angry if you disagree with them. " - Angel

This article first appeared in the US edition of HuffPost and was translated from English by Moritz Diethelm.


This article was written by Kelsey Borresen

The original for this post "Emotional Abuse: Seven Signs That Your Affiliate Is Harming You" comes from HuffPost.