Is the ego a negative emotion

Pride and vanity: your ego is about to burst!

All have one. Only the size decides whether it is healthy or not. We're talking about ego. And that goes hand in hand with a strong feeling: Proud. To a healthy degree, pride promotes ambition, ideas and personal success. But if you are not careful, it will grow over your head. A bloated ego seldom leads to anything good, but a veritable narcissistic disorder. Then excessive pride makes us believe that success is actually our sole birth, or that we are masters of the universe. And the greater the fame and the longer the applause, the more our pride in what we have achieved becomes a dangerous attitude and a pathological trait ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Pride and Prejudice: The Definition of Pride

The term pride comes from the Middle High German adjective stolks and means as much as stately, splendid (hence also English pride). Those who are proud are aware of their own worth.

Pride is one elementary emotionthat is innate to us and not brought up. He is Part of our self-awareness, but also part of the social need for belonging and (respect).

The feeling is also the same internationally and is expressed in all cultures similar gestures and gestures, such as an upright posture.

It often has a negative aftertaste. You have to differentiate a little here. US psychologists established years ago that Pride had a Janus head. He knows well two different forms - a healthy and socially recognized form and unhealthy to neurotic pride:

  • Healthy pride

    Healthy pride (also authentic pride called) and satisfaction (with oneself) often form a symbiosis. Anyone who is proud of something is usually what has been achieved - combined with the certainty that this is really something special and worthy of recognition. Behind this pride is usually a great effort, perhaps also privation, which in the end led to a desired goal that also corresponds to one's own values. As a result, those affected can be proud of their work and of themselves - as well as of their talents or the ability to achieve such successes over and over again.

  • Unhealthy pride

    Unhealthy pride (also presumptuous pride or false pride) is mostly used synonymously with arrogance and vanity, with arrogance and arrogance. If he is injured, those affected tend to indignation and defiant reactions up to aggressive defensive actions or even to revenge and reflect on the feeling of late satisfaction. Neurotic pride, on the other hand, can lead to people being proud of something that they did not create themselves or of having performed particularly destructive achievements - such as haters, trolls and con artists who are proud to have ripped off as many as possible to have.

On the one hand, healthy pride drives people to get the best out of themselves. He rewards them as much as he inspires them. Even in ambition there is always a good portion of pride.

But he also seduces Arrogance, arrogance and domination. Too much pride is not good for people: first he catapulted him out of paradise, then he instigated numerous wars and vendettas.

Pride versus vanity

The Swiss professor for New Political Economy, Guy Kirsch, even differentiates that Concepts of pride and vanity. He says:

The vain person, in contrast to the proud person, also wants to be admired for properties or attributes that he does not have at all. The proud wants to be admired, for example because he has written a book; the vain expects the admiration of his fellow men because a book has been published with his name emblazoned on the cover, but which, in fact, was produced by a nameless scribe.

You could also say: Those who are vain want to look better than they are. So the vain has a lot with him Narcissus common.

Both of them are stuck with the fraudulent more-appearances-than-being drive. Both tempt you to exaggerate Self-assertion and self-expression.

With this, the vain wants above all from others to be admired - because of talents that he would like to see in themselves and of which he is then particularly proud:

  • Physical attractiveness (no matter what)
  • Professional success (no matter how achieved)
  • intelligence (no matter where)
  • Wealth and status symbols (no matter how real)
  • Makes (regardless of who)

The vain, neurotic ego However, it also puffs up when it actually knows or can do something better, but mainly uses this to improve itself over others. Such people clearly need the repetitive Sense of superiorityin order to distract from the actual personality disorder and a veritable inferiority complex.

What can you be proud of?

The Bible already condemns pride as one of the seven deadly sins. It's not seen as drastic nowadays. As mentioned, psychology divides pride into healthy and unhealthy pride. So it's pretty clear what to be proud of.

However, opinions differ on this. In other words: what you can be proud of and what you can't be proud of is also a question of social consensus. In this country, it is above all the negative experiences with nationalism that have made pride in one's own nation frowned upon.

Other countries like the US have a clear one more impartial relationship to national pride, sing the national anthem with fervor. In this country, the following applies as far as possible: You can only be proud of something that you have actively contributed to. And measurably, visibly or at least noticeably. If a roofer covers a house, this is immediately recognizable for everyone. As a tax-paying citizen, however, you will not attract much attention.

But there are also properties that maybe not visible to the naked eye and yet have a proven impact on how you are perceived. What you can be proud of, for example:

Self-Assessment: Do you have authentic or presumptuous pride?

Speaking of self-reflection ... What are you particularly proud of? And is that still authentic or presumptuous? As a first suggestion, you can use our so-called Take the “Pride Test”. It is of course important that you answer the following questions ruthlessly and honestly to yourself.

For every question you give yourself one to four points and at the end please add up all the points. The points stand for: 1 = never, 2 = rarely, 3 = sometimes, 4 = regularly.

Self-glorification
  • Am I Worried About Getting What I Deserve?
  • I show off my successes without appreciating others.
  • I deserve special treatment because of my position or position.
  • I'm decorating the truth to get more attention.
  • Knowing important people makes me feel important myself.
  • I don't see the needs of others, I just worry about my own.
  • I draw attention to my abilities, possessions or sacrifices made.
  • I am obsessed with the things that I can do better than others.
reduction
  • Do I point out my shortcomings to appear humble?
  • I cannot accept help or gifts. That would seem strange or embarrassing to me.
  • I work till I drop. That makes me feel valuable.
  • I go above and beyond at work to get validation.
  • I try to be perfect to be able to accept myself.
  • I like to moan to get pity.
  • I have to do more than others to win their affection.
  • I depend on the consent of others to increase my self-esteem.
Aggressiveness
  • I always pick out the arguments that don't suit me and start an argument about it?
  • I control others to do exactly what I ask them to do.
  • I look very carefully to see whether others do not meet my requirements in order to be able to point out their mistakes.
  • I do not accept opinions that are not my own.
  • I get upset easily and hand out against those responsible for it.
  • I assume the worst and also exude this attitude.
  • I deliberately belittle others through disparaging or scornful comments.
  • I justify the bad treatment of others with my inviolability.
ignorance
  • I sulk and stop saying a word when I don't get my way?
  • I don't admit mistakes.
  • I refuse outside help, preferring to do it alone.
  • I am just like that and I will not change. The others have to accept that.
  • I am not flexible and do not change my plans.
  • I am stubborn and stubborn.
  • I have a problem with authorities and I don't like it when others want to tell me to do something.
  • I am unresponsive to advice or guidance.
resolution

You can find them here Resolution to the Pride test and find out whether your pride is still in a healthy range.

Causes of Excessive Pride

Typical (and to be observed again and again on the Internet) Behaviors are for example:

  • Attention to irrelevant Typos delecting - not to correct something in a friendly manner, but to document one's own linguistic superiority.
  • Acting as an internet police force and that Monopoly of interpretation complain for any technical definitions.
  • In the Role of critic fallen, who increases through his better knowledge, but always remains unassailable himself.

Defeats in subsequent discussions or indications of disproportionality are seen by those affected as destructive to their personality degradation felt. To avoid being downgraded, they react with excessive defense, counter-attacks, personal hostility and devaluation.

Factual argue Of course, you can't be with someone like that. Or maybe you shouldn't. Psychology has different approaches to explaining why some people behave like this:

  • The perception is different. The self-image and the external image do not match. This is nothing unusual in itself, but pride is much more pronounced than others.
  • The social competence is low. There can be a number of reasons for this - be it a personality disorder or a mental illness.

It is not uncommon for people to be proud of their appearance - in reality, self-esteem is often disturbed. The reasons for this are experiences in childhood: Lack of attention and recognition can cause the person to develop an extraordinarily strong urge, such as to replenish something that was missing in the past.

Career factor pride: women benefit

Women are trusted to have more leadership skills when they are proud of their achievements. If, on the other hand, they appear cheerful, they are less likely to be expected to lead. This is the result of a study by the Technical University of Munich (TUM), which examined the selection and assessment of executives.

Negotiating better, establishing networks, designing career strategies - none of that for rich women on advancement, says study director Isabell Welpe from the Chair of Strategy and Organization at TUM. In doing so, the women - unfortunately - ignored the stereotypes that would play a decisive role in the subconscious when assessing top personnel: Managers should be assertive, dominant and tough. But women are seen as balancing, friendly, and social.

Fatal. In several studies, the scientists determined how this can act as a brake on their careers: For example, test persons should assess the potential of a possible manager. It showed what many have long suspected: The same behavior of women and men in management positions is nevertheless assessed differently:

For example, if employees were assigned a task in one scenario, the test subjects promptly expected a better result just because a man had delegated the work. No question about it, that's stupid and a cliché about it. But unfortunately it sticks just as stubbornly as chewing gum on the shoe.

Isabell puppy about this:

Men in management positions are still believed to be more assertive towards their employees. It is surprising that some stereotypes towards women are even more pronounced among women themselves - if, for example, they tend to accept a dominant leadership style among men.

In the present study, however, the TUM scientists also examined the role that emotions play in this. Again, the test subjects saw various scenarios in which men and women were sometimes happy, sometimes proud of their own performance, or showed no emotions at all. Lo and behold: those who looked proud were immediately judged to be more willing to lead. This effect was even more pronounced in women than in men.

4 warning signs that the ego is getting too big

If pride gets too big, it inflates the ego. It can even lead to addiction. Be like that Egomaniacs about very different characteristics are said to be: They were primarily looking for fans, not colleagues; they craved recognition and attention; would like to pretend to be able to do everything, but never get their hands dirty ... For them, what counts is the short-term success they get briefly in the spotlight advised - more appearance than real substance ...

Of course, these are extreme forms. Not everyone tends to have such an oversized ego - partly due to a lack of possibilities. However, there are quite a few early ones Warning notices for wind machines in spe:

Addiction to fame

To strive for success is good. But only looking for this in order to secure recognition and respect is unhealthy. Here cause is confused with effect. Not infrequently, such people envy the success of others. It can be recognized by the fact that they categorically denounce their ideas or projects or contradict them wherever possible. The fallacy behind this is sort of Zero sum game: If others get less applause, I fall away all the more. Nonsense!

Competitive thinking

Anyone who constantly compares themselves with others soon lapses into competitive thinking. All the others are then only competitors who need to be asserted against and which you can wrestle down got to. Every debate, every conversation, every negotiation mutates into a battle arena.

Boasting

Even the most brilliant idea can be overshadowed by personal talents - if you put them in the foreground. His own Emphasize cleverness, but rarely testifies to the same. And it doesn't make you particularly personable either. Apart from that, the urge to be recognized acts like a drug that constantly needs a higher dose in order to still work.

defensive

Anyone who thinks they have to constantly defend their ideas - even against constructive criticism - isolates themselves and ends up in one sooner rather than later Defensive attitude. The same applies to those who almost always take criticism personally and therefore shoot back immediately. Narcissists are correspondingly bad at building long-term or even reliable relationships. They constantly need new fan circles - or if they have already come a long way: changing admirers and confirmations, be it through growing bonuses or grateful fields of activity with a lot of fame inside.



Of course one would Egomaniac never admit that he is watching these very things in himself. At least never in public. But a bit self reflection in between does not harm the healthy ego ...

Men pimp their egos with powerful acquaintances

Can you think of yourself as more powerful just because you know someone who has power? Short answer: yes, especially men can do that.

With the help of several experiments, Noah J. Goldstein of the Anderson School of Management at the University of California at Los Angeles was able to show that there is something like that in men Illusion of power transfer gives. Or in short: men like to pimp their ego with influential connections.

In fact, men immediately feel more powerful, more optimistic, more confident as soon as they feel a razor-thin connection with someone in power. Women don't do that. What definitely for him Realism and the down-to-earth attitude of women speaking. However, the studies also showed that women generally feel powerless or even more powerless than men, which in turn can be a handicap.

Crucial for that Extent of the effect was whether the (male) test persons saw themselves in a cooperative or rather competitive relationship with their powerful counterpart. Sure, the more cooperative the situation, the stronger the illusion of borrowed power.

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